For The Blank Page

Now all of this could be in my head, i hope it is, but is the number of smart women diminishing?  I find myself unintentionally meeting alot of women of late but dismissing all of them just as quickly.  I am not an arrogant person but when i am forced to keep a conversation going by talking like she is a child so she can understand me, i find it intolerable.  Now i don’t expect anyone to be brushing up on Steven Hawking’s theory on the universe in their spare time, although it would be interesting.  So agree with me, argue with me, hate me if you must.  Any of the above would be preferable to those big round eyes of incomprehension.

I will use a recent experience in an attempt to explain my situation

Boy meets Girl.

Boy is attracted to girl and girl to boy.

Girl explains that she dosn’t read anything much because thinking makes her head hurt.

Boy loses respect and attraction for girl.

The End

Note ? This is one of the harsher examples.

The question is, why is it becoming socially acceptable for so many women to foster the ditsy cheerleader clich?, or perhaps i should say preferable?  Is there some impression that the type of guy you are looking for is looking for these things in a woman?  Perhaps this is somewhat egocentric but could it be that the long standing male insecurity and need for dominance is forcing women to ?water down? their mental assets in order to get the men they want ?

I do fully understand that the average guy would be only too happy to find a gorgeous woman with minimal intelligence and easily exploited self esteem issues.  Instead i find my attention hanging by the last thread of physical attraction.  Easy to impress, easy to get what you want, maybe too easy…  I feel disadvantaged by wanting more from a woman than these simple superficial things, things which quickly grow boring.

Why?  Because practically any girl can put on some makeup and a nice dress in order to catch someone’s eye, but catching someone?s mind, leaving an impression, that is a different matter.  There is no makeup to be applied to a personality, it is the only true thing about a person.  So show me something new, teach me something, be proud of what you know and you will leave a memory that is worth remembering.

A message to the few women with the uncompromising fortitude that i find so attractive, you know who you are.  Thank you, you make it all worth while, don’t stop being who you are.

So many people are becoming ever more enveloped with the forging of their own lives, primarily the materialistic aspect of it, with the that reason we continue to do this fading even more quickly into obscurity than ever before.  Constantly calculating and concerned with our career, earning money, saving money, spending money, the car we drive, the brand of clothes we wear, the size of the tv we watch and the impression we make due to this.  Every moment expended worrying about these things we are convinced we need is a moment and opportunity that is forever lost to us.

Sure we convince ourselves that we are connected to each other now more than ever.  We have a constant stream of status updates and random collections of corresponding photos and comments from facebook giving us the illusion of personal contact, when in fact it is more akin to a big brother type scenario.  Voice and video communication through cell phones and various internet based programs are helpful in allowing us to communicate with anyone whenever we wish to.  But there is a large difference in sharing a conversation and sharing an experience.  Put it this way, if you are fortunate enough to live into your 80?s then you wont be telling your grandchildren about those great conversations you had back in your day.

This should become obvious when we realise that this is our only form of contact, not only for people whom we are separated geographically but also for the friends and family that live in the same city.  These communication technologies obtain much of their success from the delusion of the real human relationships that we like to think that we are preserving.  As with the purpose of any self made delusion, this one provides us with piece of mind.  We require this peace of mind in order to fully pursue our goals of materialistic glory.  After all we are still living, breathing, feeling human beings and we still need these emotional connections. 

In pursuit of the things it is believed that we must possess we are all too willing to trade the very things that make us human to obtain them.  We believe that all the unique relationships we have forged in the past will be waiting, unchanged, for our return.  Unfortunately time will change anything and everything.

In saying this i do not mean that you should not work hard for what you want, only that you should consider why you are doing it.

I have no profound words to conclude with.

Hoping you have some for yourself instead???

As i was a typical quixotic youth i would often hear the old  adage ?the grass is always greener on  the other side?.  It has forever been used to illustrate that even though things may look better from  an observers point of view and that this isn?t always true.  We are told that we should be happy with what we have because the other option probably isn’t as good as it seems.

When i was young i would read Goosebumps gamebooks that allow the reader to make choices in the story.  I would always mark the pages so i could go back if i didn’t like what i had chosen.  Unfortunately we cannot mark the pages of life and for making the wrong choice their will be consequences and regret for what we lost.

It is human nature to want for something more than we already possess.  This is applicable for almost everything from jobs, status and wealth to relationships and lifestyles.  For example many people have gotten ?cold feet? on their wedding day for they fear that making the commitment of marriage will close other options to them.  This disposition to the feeling that what we possess is unsatisfactory is powered by curiosity of anything that is unknown to us and the overpowering urge to improve our lives. 

Pursuing something that appeals to us will usually do more harm than good.  By the time you realise that you were happy with what you had the damage done by your resultant actions could already be irreparable.  By focusing on opportunities you will never get a chance to enjoy what you already have.

Sometimes jumping the fence into greener grass will be everything you always dreamed it would be.  But because this is a somewhat improbable outcome i must offer that perhaps we should focus on ameliorating what we have rather than chasing alternatives in the hope of a quick fix.  Because in reality the grass is always greener on the other side, no matter what side you on.  So stop looking at your neighbours grass and start watering your own!

As for me, iv acknowledged my addiction to the pursuit of the greenest of grasses and the inherent consequences, there will be no rehab for me anytime soon.